I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize