May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
