If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
