...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
