There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I love you.
Bad choice
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