you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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