my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
