I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
