Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
