he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I will pee on everything he values.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize