Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
