So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
