This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
