she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm like, not good at living.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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