Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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