his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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