Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
