His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
