will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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