i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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