Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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