I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
