He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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