that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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