:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
kristin has been a bad kristin
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
