Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize