So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
