glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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