They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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