That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You need Xanax blowdarts
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
