omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
