You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
