she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize