i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
