i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
