What a fucking waste of an outfit
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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