I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
