PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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