Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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