Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
