so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize