what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
