i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
