I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
