Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
