What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
