I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
