Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
