how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
