Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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