YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
