I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
