Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
