shes about as inviting as chlamydia
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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