He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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