He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
