I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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