You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
