New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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