so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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