I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
