Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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