maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
