i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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