craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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